A New Swimsuit

A few months ago I bought a new swimsuit.

A really cute one, with bright, borderline 90’s neon, colors. This may seem like a very basic thing to do, but for me it was a milestone. That’s right.

A milestone.

Because, you see, this swimsuit was *whispers* a two-piece.

I KNOW.

What possessed me to buy such a thing? Well, ease of use in the bathroom was my number one reason. My second was that I had my previous swimsuit for nearly eight years.

One day, prior to a trip to the water park, I looked at myself in our full length mirror, wearing my brand new suit. A wave of crippling self doubt washed over me.

What was I thinking?

I can’t go out like this.

Yes you can!

Ugh. My butt looks way bigger in this suit than it did when I tried it on in the store.

No it doesn’t.

Seriously, did my stretch marks multiply?

Come on now.  You had three kids. Don’t be so hard on yourself.

It took ten minutes of debating with my less confident self but eventually my more positive self won.

Once we got all settled at the water park, I apprehensively removed my shirt and surf shorts.

*Deep breath in, deep breath out*

My squishy belly felt the sun’s warmth for the first time in forever.

And it was amazing.

I felt good.

Really good.

Funny how, even if only for a moment, a simple swimsuit can give you a renewed sense of self.

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1 Comment

  1. Being from Michigan, it’s not really swimwear weather. But I plan to revisit this post next summer. It made me feel like I could wear any swimsuit I want to wear. That I don’t look what I think I look like and I’m my own biggest critic. Thanks for the confidence boost!

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